Friday, February 9, 2007

a walk in the park?!

You finally met someone. Both of you in love and never been happier in your entire life. Everything comes into pieces. Your love partner, your work, everything else, things are great! You never thought that this day would come. For most people it is hard to find true love. Those who have patience and are selective will have a better chance at having good, loving, successful long term relationship.

ok, Back to real world…….

For those that are currently in a long term relationship or used to be, know that this is fair tale.
Dating someone and being in a serious relationship are two very different things!..... When you date someone, this is the first phase you undertake to really understand the person and know what they are all about. Don't think that if you dated them for a month, you know them, because you don't… It takes at least a year to truly get to know each other. If you think otherwise, you are in for a surprise. For many, its hard to open up fully and show the true yourself, trust me I am one of them that has done this in the past. They will hide away their bad habits for as long as they can, but eventually, as the time goes by, their awareness and guard will come down and you will finally know the true person that you are dating. Another reason for such a long time to really get to know each other is: both of you live separate and only see each other few days a week. So there is a lot more you don't know as to what this person is all about.
Unlike dating, serious relationship is different. You dated this person for awhile now. You know that both of you are perfect for each other…..( hopefully you know this by now) Both of you decide to move in together into your own home and live together.

That usually means one thing: changing your bad habits and trying even harder to keep this relationship on a "straight road". Things will not be perfect. I 100% guarantee you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They will never be perfect. You will have to sacrifice a lot. I am not talking about giving up your remote control or night out with your girlfriends. Mostly has to do with egos and perception of whats right and whats wrong to everyday decisions in your house or outside of it. Once in a while you will have to give up some space or luxury to satisfy your partner. Being stubborn and full of yourself will not make relationship any healthier. Things will not go as planned, arguments will always be there. Its not a question of when you will argue but how you deal with your arguments and how to logically avoid them. Usually arguments will start with every little stupid thing. Best advice for both, be reasonable and logical. Listen first then think about it before you say something you haven't thought over. Remember we are all adults and not teenagers. Go to that grocery store and buy that milk for her, for crying out loud. You can watch that hockey game later.
So things will get shaky in a relationship. You fight every day and then make up. Love is strong feeling but what do you do when you think to yourself " sick and tired of fighting, i cant do this anymore". How do you deal with this. Do you just break it off or hang on? Now i do not mean if things get violent, in a physical way. In that case you need to report to police and leave him immediately!!! You do not need to put up with this. Its not worth it. What i mean when i say "fighting every day" is every day word exchange between the two. There are 2 major deal breakers in any healthy relationship; hitting, and lying. If you encounter either in your relationship, I would strongly suggest review the situation and make the decision to leave it, NOW.

When both people truly love each other and yet things don't go as well, you end up on bumpy road and one question will pop up in your head "when is the time to say enough is enough". What i have to say about this is: "NEVER".
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