Am I strong enough?

One thing that I have learned from Navy Sub life.... You have to be strong.

As a wife of a U.S Sailor and a mother of three, boys mind you. I often find myself being a single-non single parent for months at a clip. Those months apart are most challenging, the car will decide it no longer wants to work right, some household appliance will break down, your house gets torn apart from kids because there is no way you can be in four rooms at the same time to prevent disasters, emails are few and far between and almost always monitored by someone and if you're an unlucky one like some from our boat, the emails will be read and talked about with people who have no reason to know what was in it at all, you're deprived of sex and think about taking up stock in batteries, you learn what deployment insomnia is and you'll mumble and grumble "why does this only happen when he's gone?"

I'm also a person that NEEDS to stay busy, which I think might add to some of my stress. As a 7 1/2 month pregger I decided to re-paint the entire inside of our house....while he was at sea. I picked up armature photography, quilting, scrapbooking, couponing, gardening, baking, pretty much I strive to be a Martha Stewart clone minus the prison time.  I often have about 3 things I'm working on, right now it's a cathedral quilt, canning/baking, prepping to take senior pictures and the most time consuming...starting a business. Although I have my husbands full support and willingness to listen to my never ending talk about vendors, marketing and the future, he still isn't there to be 100% supportive.

Sometimes I get the "uh huh" or "oh cool" monotone response, I get upset but then have to remember that this man is putting in a 12hr shift of craziness known as Navy life. He is the only unfortunate person on his boat to be in 3 divisions and is tasked numerous things beyond the norm. I try to stay positive and supportive all while masking my own frustrations of the days business.

The pressure will build up over weeks and explode into a 'I'm not gonna cook you lil jerks anything to eat, go eat a bowl of cereal and mom is gonna go sit in the shower for 2 hrs, you better not bug me or mommy dearest will come out' mess(you like my run on sentence? good because I did). The kids sit there looking at each other trying to figure out why mommy has gonna coo coo.

I wonder sometimes how strong am I really? Can I really do this? Then I look at all the pictures in my house, I look at my husband, my children and know I not only have to be strong for me I have to do it for all of them......So I suck back all my emotions and frustrations and go through another day of a Navy Sub life.

These are all my knuckle heads :-)

What Navy tales do you have that makes you wonder "am I really strong enough for this?"

I cant take not having sex!!

three weeks since a tender dawn goodbye of rough sex, things are getting ugly.

It's no exaggeration to report that I have never in my life been as horny as I am at this moment. I'm not cute horny right now, either. I emit the giggling blonde co-ed's level of horniness in my sleep. I'm talking about something else… a raging, vicious horniness that puts me in a horrendous mood during the day and turns me into an out-of-control, can't-get-enough, screaming-for-more lunatic at night.

I've gone through more batteries in the last four days than I typically do in months. I've used toys in ways they weren't intended. I've watched porn. I've broken all my self-serve orgasm records with ease, but never once felt like it was enough. I didn't know it was possible to come this much and still be so fired up.

My bedroom has turned into a disaster zone of pleasure. Toys strewn everywhere, a bottle of Liquid Silk running dangerously low, underwear littering the floor, blankets a madness of tangles.

And I see Scores's cock everywhere. Usually I just imagine it from time to time….. But today, I sat at my house seeing his beautiful erection just inches away from my face. All freaking day. Jesus.

There are drawbacks to fucking yourself too much. My right arm is going limp, for instance. I've ripped a magazine and a book because they were unknowingly in my way on the bed. My laptop survived a fall, but a knocked-over glass of water soaked through a favorite novel. Tonight, the brute force of getting myself off with the Rabbit somehow caused a smaller, typically ignored toy called the Dolphin to magically start vibrating on its own from the floor. I watched in amazement from the bed as the toy dolphined-itself across my floors. And after a freaking stupid comment I was again denied SEX tonight! Is this guy a monk or something? Cause if I don't get some soon Im gonna go ape shit or date someone else!!!!!!

Am I now so desperate for sex that I'm causing random sex toys to spontaneously get off when they're around me? What the hell is that!!!

I have either reached new heights or sunk to new lows this week; it's hard to tell which. But damn, at this rate, how am I going to make it to Wednesday or Thursday? Because I don't think my right arm is going to last, and I wasn't planning on making another battery run before I went to work... I'm sure my coworkers would really appreciate a mood turnaround sometime soon, too. You'd think 10+ orgasms a night would accomplish that, but no. I swear every one just makes me more and more moody, more and more pissed off that I can't calm down on my own.

Holy fuck, ladies. How bad is it going to get? This is ridiculous.

I think I need an intervention.